Tuesday, September 25, 2007

A Day's Menu

I have been lax about posting what I eat in the past weeks. Give me a break, I'm working full-time now. LOL!

Anyway, here's today's food...

7 a.m. A smoothie made with 6 medium bananas and 1 1/2 cups of frozen mango
12 p.m. 2 1/2 cups red grapes, 1 cup heirloom cherry tomatoes, 3 leaves of romaine
5:30 p.m. A smoothie made with 7 medium bananas and 1 cup frozen mango, a salad with 4 C. local red leaf lettuce, 2 C. chopped heirloom tomatoes, and 3 large Medjool dates for dessert

Total: 2200 calories

Perfect for the amount I expended.

I did some walking, running, calisthenics and strength training and aerobics today. Sounds like a lot, but only added up to 40 minutes... Better than the 15 minutes I've been getting for the past few weeks.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Celebrate good times

Our new kitty, Rover (otherwise known as "Nugget"--the name my 3 year-old gave him)

My daughter with a sunflower head that's bigger than her head! Actually, that was one of the smaller heads.

My son enjoys fresh sunflower seeds.

I have so much to be thankful for in this life, although sometimes I get caught up in moments of (self-created) stress and depression and forget to count my blessings.

We have a new addition to our family--a cute little kitten named Rover (or Nugget). He came with a distended belly, gas and diarrhea, which cleared up immediately on a diet of raw meat. We considered worming him, but his rapid improvement indicates that giving him a species-appropriate diet was all that was required. He is a frisky, happy, cuddly little guy and very tolerant of being "loved" by our three year-old. Unfortunately, our other cat has not accepted him yet, and is spending 24 hours outside to avoid poor little Rover. Hopefully, Bart will come around and learn to tolerate his new housemate soon.

This weekend, we had a fabulous children's class in the community garden. Thirteen children, ages 3-10, came and used their 5 senses. They sniffed basil, mint, and dill. They collected flowers and seeds and leaves. They felt furry lambs-ear leaves. We caught and examined grasshoppers. The kids dug and played in the dirt for quite some time. They pulled carrots and harvested summer squash. Some didn't even know that carrots came from the ground, or what squash was. They each got to help cut a huge sunflower head and got their photo taken with it. They sampled local apples, garden tomatoes, sweet peppers, the carrot they pulled, and the squash they picked. A few tried sunflower seeds. It was great fun for all! Honestly, it made every time I felt overwhelmed or frustrated with this garden project fade into the background. It was ALL worth it to enjoy this with these kids.

So I am for this moment, grateful and happy. I wish you all well.

Saturday, September 22, 2007


I have a bad habit of thinking of myself as completely healthy now that I eat raw.

I tend to forget that I've only been eating 80-10-10 for a few months and that although my health has improved dramatically in that time, I still have years worth of toxins to dump and massive healing to be done.

On Tuesday, I stayed home sick from school. I had a low-grade fever in the morning and a very runny nose. I didn't eat much and I slept most of the day. Interestingly, I had 6 bowel movements (all "normal"). I felt pretty light and cleaned out. Maybe my body was spending more time repairing my bowel, which had been pretty irritated for the last 2 years or so.

I felt much better on Wednesday. Ideally, I would have taken another day off just to rest and recover fully, but I don't have paid sick leave, so back to work I went.

I feel good thinking about all of the repair work my body is able to do without me consciously directing it. All I have to do is "stay out of the way" by not consuming toxic substances and resting properly.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Germ Theory

One of the more controversial tenets of Natural Hygiene is the belief that germs do not cause illness.

The argument is the following... All disease is caused by toxemia. Toxemia is caused by toxins building up in the body. Toxin buildup results from consuming foods inappropriate for our species (meat, milk, grain, cooked food...) or from other practices that thwart the body's ability to cleanse metabolic toxins. So basically, if you are emotionally unhealthy, if you don't exercise, if you don't get the rest and sunshine you need, toxins can build up.

Your body then produces a response to remove the toxins. Throwing up, sneezing, runny nose, for example, are all ways for the body to rid itself of toxic matter. Symptoms are the healing itself. Symptoms also alert your conscious mind to perform actions that assist healing, such as fasting or resting.

What about those bacteria that we can see on a microscope? Well, according to NH, the germs are opportunistic organisms that actually are assisting in the healing process. Bacteria are consuming toxins or performing other functions, not attacking us and causing illness.

Without delving deeply into all of the convincing evidence that NH teachers use to support their theory, let me just state that I generally am convinced.

But I am challenged by a couple of unanswered questions:

1) Why do I have the same cold symptoms that my kids had a couple of days ago, and that some of their daycare compatriots had last week? The usual argument would be that we have similar poor habits that build up toxins and so our bodies simply are cleansing simultaneously.

But I'm the only committed raw fooder in the bunch. Why should I have similar symtoms as my kids who ate tons of sugary baked goods this Saturday and a bunch of meat and milk consuming daycare kids?

2) What about stuff like rabies?

So a long drawn-out way to say... Waaah, my nose is running. LOL!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Three Lousy French Fries

Well, folks, after eating 100% raw exclusively since April 29th, I finally had my first cheat.

During lunch today, I ate three crinkle cut fries (no salt, no catsup) off of someone's plate. Why? Well, that's a darn good question. I don't remember being really self-aware at that moment. It's not like I did it without thinking. It's not even like I felt compelled by an overwhelming craving or even a strong desire for the fries.

I do remember thinking... all this time; is it worth it to "break the streak" for some lousy cafeteria fries? The answer was, no. They were cold, tasteless (I was a bit suprised that they weren't salted or chemically at all--I believe my tastebuds would pick up on that stuff). They were quite mushy in texture, not because they weren't cooked properly, but because potatoes are mushier than I remember. They also had an unpleasant, starchy potato taste and a slightly oily sheen to them. Very bland. Not sweet.

So why did I do it? Honestly, I'm not quite sure. I do know that I ate less than half the calories than I was supposed to yesterday and this morning was forced to choose between unripe bananas and unripe honeydew melon. I have been quite crabby about food. There have been no ripe bananas to be had in my entire town (5 stores I've been to and all the bananas are the identical shade of pale yellow tinged with green). Local melons are on the downswing. My garden is cashing out. So, I feel very disappointed with the lack of good food choices available to me. I have also been feeling pretty frustrated by not having enough money or the right location to access quality food.

Also, I am not getting enough rest and I was particularly stressed at my job today. But I didn't feel like I was eating "emotionally" at the time that I did it. I feel frustrated that I still lack the self-awareness to understand why I am choosing certain actions. I want clarity, darn it! Clarity about what I want and why.

Well, now I know that I don't want french fries.

I was a bit afraid after I ate the fries that I would get ill, but I had no noticeable symptoms. My mouth was very dry and bad-tasting in the afternoon, but I have had that symptom for weeks. I drink LOTS of water and don't eat salt at all, so I don't know what this symptom is telling me.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Isn't Nutridiary cool?

(In case you're wondering, the first pic shows my calorie distribution in upright bars. The blue is for carbs. It also tells my weight and body fat percentage when I started Nutridiary in August and as of today. Get out your magnifying glasses. LOL! The second chart shows calories burned vs. calories consumed. The bottom line is calories consumed. As you can see, I haven't been eating enough, but am getting closer now.)

Nutridiary is so fun to play with. I love charts and graphs and detailed information. But, really, how much time does it take out of my day to chart every bit of food I consume and how much I exercise and how big my waist is. And then to scrutinize these fun graphs... Sheesh! Just go eat some watermelon and be done with it.

Knowing how many calories a computer system estimates I should eat is helpful, to a point. But really, at some point, I have to move past that and be able to tell my actual body's signals for hunger and thirst. And I have to build a life that allows me to eat what I need, when I need it, which is not currently the case. (This need is also extended to all of the rest of my being's needs--rest, sunshine, exercise, spiritual fulfillment, emotional ease, etc.)

So, I have been thinking about this a lot. How to manifest my REAL life, the one I'm meant to be living.

A further update. The difference in my mood and cravings and my ability to work out is unbelievable after just a few days of getting my calories up. I am still working at it.

Also, I am trying to work especially with my oldest son, who is undereating as well. We had some good talks and some good smoothies this weekend.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Improvements already!

Day three of getting those calories up there. Already I'm noticing significant improvements! The cravings are massively lessening. And, I ran a full lap around the track at a pretty good speed without feeling like I was going to die.

Too tired to post much more. It's been a super-busy week at work with the Open House and the Book Fair lasting late into the night on Wednesday. And packing the Book Fair (along with the rest of the job).

I also was at the Community Garden tonight. Lots of stuff going on there. There are amazing sweet potatoes to harvest and sell soon.

Today's food

7 a.m. 6 nanas and 1/4 large head iceberg
12 p.m. 7 nanas
6 p.m A huge salad of the rest of the head of iceberg, a mango, 2/3 of an avocado, a huge red heirloom tomato, and a yellow tomato
7 p.m. A few pods of okra while harvesting

1880 cal. C-F-P 84-10-6

A couple hundred calories short

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Transitioning from weight loss to health maintenance

I had a really helpful conversation with my Path of Health mentor Seena last night. Together, we talked through some of my more recent challenges.

Here's the basics... I'm not eating anywhere near enough to fuel my activities. I am losing weight, but not dropping body fat and building muscles. I am having cravings for SAD foods because I am hungry.

I thought I was having trouble recognizing the signs of "true hunger," but one reason for that might be that I'M HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. Duh. Seena also thought that I might be confusing hunger with thirst, since I am drinking way more water than a non salt-eating raw fooder would normally need.

So, using Nutridiary, I can see how many calories I actually need to eat on a day-to-day basis, and I'm actually going to do it.

Once I have the money to buy enough food. LOL!

Seena encouraged me to try using smoothies to get over my banana aversion. She also suggested that I eat before work, even though it is earlier than I'd really like to, because otherwise, I don't get a chance to eat two solid meals during the daytime. She encouraged me to research the most calorie-dense sweet fruits (bananas and dates, in case you're wondering) and eat 'em up! And, she said once I start fueling my body properly, I can exercise more vigorously and see the body fat drop and the muscle-building I'd like. So... feels exciting to have some ideas how to get going. Thanks again, Seena.

Today's Food

7 a.m. 10 cups watermelon (Got a stomacheache. Not sure if it was the watermelon, which was just a tiny bit under-ripe, or if it was the speed I ate, or eating so early. I felt really bad for 20 minutes)

11:45 a.m. 7 medium and 3 small bananas

4:45 p.m. Leftover 2 cups watermelon from breakfast

6 p.m. Salad with red leaf lettuce, okra, zucchini, heirloom tomato, and yellow pepper

7 p.m. A large mango

Cal. 2048, C-F-P 89-4-7

Only 60 calories short! Not bad for day one.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Where've you been, Greenmama?

I am so happy to have a long weekend to relax and rejuvenate! I skipped the Farmer's Market today as my partner was out of town (that makes 4 out of the last 5!) and I just felt I needed the break.

My job is going better than I feared. I really enjoy the children and being surrounded by books. The rest of it sucks, but the first two things make it doable. My kids are enjoying school, although we've already had some difficulties there. They are a bit overtaxed by the long intense days and tend to be tired and irritable at certain times of the day (usually when we have to get ready to leave and time is of the essence). So, we're surviving.

We are again completely out of cash. We don't have enough money to buy food or gas to get us to work every day next week. Of course, we'll manage somehow. We always do. Next week will be my first full paycheck and it will also have some extra hours for the Book Fair, so that will be fine.

I am doing some Dynamic Self-Discovery one-on-one sessions with Elchanan and our first session focused on my ability to create resources. "I am ready, willing, and able to have and to spend whatever money my heart desires--now." I still feel like that is such a wonderful thing to say and I can't wait until it is true. I am ready, willing, and able... o.k., not "able" at this point because there is no cash. LOL! Another gem, "When you have more, you have more to give." That feels really wonderful. There are so many people and causes I would love to give more to. So, in order to give, I must be able to receive. I have to receive the abundance that is out there for me before I can share it. (Where is it, though?)

On the raw food front. I am still eating low fat raw vegan. I have been eating mostly local watermelon, with a few bananas, and tomatoes, okra, cucumbers, and squash from the garden. I have been a little lax on my greens, every third day or so. Yesterday I had a lot of green leaf and romaine. My community garden box has a lot of salad greens that are about 1 1/2 inches high, so I'm looking forward to eating those soon.

On the exercise front, I have been consistently getting 15-30 minutes of walk/jog in on my lunch break at work. It's nice to get the sunshine and the exercise helps me feel better. I need more exercise and want to build more muscle and core strength. But I feel so exhausted by the end of the day that I am just collapsing. About the most I can get myself to do in the evening is read a little bit of the new Harry Potter. Even if I do have any spare energy, I feel like I need to do things like dishes and laundry and packing lunches for the next day.

At the suggestion of the Path of Health group, I set up a free account at Nutridiary. I have always used SparkPeople and they have nice features, but Nutridiary is a lot more helpful because they add up the calories you burned and subtract the calories you ate and give you a total--how many calories are you over or under-eating. Wow, I am consistently undereating by quite a bit. I was ingrained in the dieter's myth that as long as I was eating more than 1200 calories, I would be fine. But my activity level burns significantly more than that. That could be why I have lost 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks and why I am experiencing a lot of food "cravings." The cravings are more like obsessive thoughts, rather than actually WANTING to eat foods. I can go into the cafeteria and buy the foods like French fries or nachos. I don't do it. I could. I don't even feel like I am stopping myself from doing it.

But yet, I find myself thinking about these foods and even remembering what they taste like. Sigh. Part of me wonders about the theory I've heard about cravings being triggered when you burn fat, because the fat was created by those foods and particles of them are released into your bloodstream. I used to think it was absurd, but now I wonder.

Anyway, I usually feel better if I just EAT. But I sometimes have to delay because of my schedule. And, we just don't have much food. Bananas are the solution, but I procrastinate eating them. I don't really like bananas much. I don't hate them. I just feel blah about bananas.

So, that's me, right now. Here I am. Greenmama, out.