Sunday, January 20, 2008

Increased Self-Awareness, Contrast, and other Blessed Irritations

When I went raw, I was shocked at how sharp my sense of smell and taste became. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that many symptoms I took for granted disappeared. I hadn't noticed them because they were so much a part of my life... That achy, lethargic, groggy feeling I woke up with every morning? Turns out it's a "food hangover", not just a result of turning thirty, or bad genes, or "not being a morning person."

So, imagine my dismay, when I began eating poorly again, at having all of my gains disappear and all of my symptoms return. Actually, they seemed worse. Are they worse? No, I am not being "punished." It's just a matter of noticing these things more now that I know what it's like to feel better.

In a way, this increased self-awareness has been the one thing that my detour to SAD land can't erase. And I am grateful for that. Grudgingly grateful.

I know my detour has been temporary, because now I've seen the promised land and want to go back.


pixywinks said...

Funny, I came to that same realization just the other day. Once you know what feeling good is like, and how to get it, you can't NOT KNOW IT. That's what makes me keep trying day after day, even tho sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and eat whatever I want. I can't NOT try anymore. Frustrating sometimes.

Oh, True Apothecary said...

The increased awareness of self and our senses is one of the greatest gifts being raw gives us. And it is terribly frustrating when we give into temptations, especially since we know what will happen in the aftermath. We'll get there :D



~Anastazia~ said...

Wow, I LOVE this post, & your way of getting to the truth of the matter so succinctly!
You sum up so well exactly what I've gone through, & a big part of why I keep pressing on!
Health, victory, & healing, one day at a time!
keep on keepin' on!!!