Increased Self-Awareness, Contrast, and other Blessed Irritations

When I went raw, I was shocked at how sharp my sense of smell and taste became. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that many symptoms I took for granted disappeared. I hadn't noticed them because they were so much a part of my life... That achy, lethargic, groggy feeling I woke up with every morning? Turns out it's a "food hangover", not just a result of turning thirty, or bad genes, or "not being a morning person."

So, imagine my dismay, when I began eating poorly again, at having all of my gains disappear and all of my symptoms return. Actually, they seemed worse. Are they worse? No, I am not being "punished." It's just a matter of noticing these things more now that I know what it's like to feel better.

In a way, this increased self-awareness has been the one thing that my detour to SAD land can't erase. And I am grateful for that. Grudgingly grateful.

I know my detour has been temporary, because now I've seen the promised land and want to go back.