Two-Week Detour

Two week detour, much like the famed "Two Hour Tour" gone awry, only without the Skipper and Marianne.

Seriously, though, maybe you've wondered where I've been. It hasn't been a happy place!

Two weeks ago, in response to feelings of frustration, anger, fear, and loneliness, I decided to eat some SAD "food." I knew that I would get sick, but I still chose to do it. However, I had a new awareness of my body's reactions to taking in these foods that I had not experienced before when I ate them fairly often.

Within an hour, I could feel my entire body rapidly dehydrating. My throat and mouth got very dry and then my lips. I could feel my hands and feet swell. I felt a comfortable numbness throughout my entire body for about the first hour--a heavy (but not unpleasant) sensation in my stomach, a slight fogginess in my thinking, drowsiness. Then, however, I got a knotted, painful sensation in my stomach. I heard gurgling noises. I also felt unsatisfied. I felt like I "needed" more SAD food. So I ate more. I went to bed feeling heavy. I slept fitfully, waking often to drink water and remembering strange dreams. My stomach hurt but not as much as I had worried it might.

However, the next morning, I threw up and had diarrhea forapproximately 6 hours. I was incapacitated for the whole day. Iimmediately had increased vaginal discharge (something I had since puberty but went away on 80-10-10). Also, I got a mild yeast infection for a day or two. Then next day, I craved more SAD foods. My stomach was still visibly bloated and gurgling. I later ate more SAD foods throughout the next two weeks. I noticed less symptoms--my body no longer produced diarrhea or vomiting--but I got severe heartburn, which felt like someone was literally kicking me in the esophagus. I gained about 10 pounds in one week, which I assume to be mostly water-weight and colon backup. My hands are slightly painful and swollen in the morning. My skin is oilier and I have some minor breakouts. My scalp is also oilier and a little flakey. My workouts were more difficult and I had less energy. My bowels were immediately irritated. I had gas and a bit of constipation.

The other annoying thing I noticed is that I never felt satisfied after eating the foods I "craved." It was never enough!

The interesting thing about experiencing these physical and mental symptoms was that they were all familiar. I had experienced these symptoms before with regularity before, but never paid much attention. Some of the "milder"symptoms I attributed to age or the natural course of things. The more severe symptoms I chalked up to a bug, such as the "flu." The dissatisfaction and cravings I had attributed to my weak willpower or "stress." Somehow, adding back all these symptoms made me appreciate more clearly how I had not been experiencing them at all in the past 3 months of 80-10-10.

So, self-love, where are you? I feel like I was doing great and then I just fell into a pit of despair and self-loathing. Now, I gotta claw my way back outta here.

Today was Day 1

10 a.m. 1 cup of heirloom cherry tomatoes (a gift from a friend)
11 a.m. 3 large Bartlett pears
Noon Smoothie with 7 med. bananas, 2 cups frozen raspberries
3:30 p.m. (Having baaaaaad cravings!) a large quantity of lettuce and 2 cups cherry tomatoes
7 p.m. About 2 mangoes and 2 C. tomatoes blended into a soup

Total: About 1700 cal. (I can afford to be a little low after a week of eating 3000 cal. a day)