Sunday, October 7, 2007

Two-Week Detour

Two week detour, much like the famed "Two Hour Tour" gone awry, only without the Skipper and Marianne.

Seriously, though, maybe you've wondered where I've been. It hasn't been a happy place!

Two weeks ago, in response to feelings of frustration, anger, fear, and loneliness, I decided to eat some SAD "food." I knew that I would get sick, but I still chose to do it. However, I had a new awareness of my body's reactions to taking in these foods that I had not experienced before when I ate them fairly often.

Within an hour, I could feel my entire body rapidly dehydrating. My throat and mouth got very dry and then my lips. I could feel my hands and feet swell. I felt a comfortable numbness throughout my entire body for about the first hour--a heavy (but not unpleasant) sensation in my stomach, a slight fogginess in my thinking, drowsiness. Then, however, I got a knotted, painful sensation in my stomach. I heard gurgling noises. I also felt unsatisfied. I felt like I "needed" more SAD food. So I ate more. I went to bed feeling heavy. I slept fitfully, waking often to drink water and remembering strange dreams. My stomach hurt but not as much as I had worried it might.

However, the next morning, I threw up and had diarrhea forapproximately 6 hours. I was incapacitated for the whole day. Iimmediately had increased vaginal discharge (something I had since puberty but went away on 80-10-10). Also, I got a mild yeast infection for a day or two. Then next day, I craved more SAD foods. My stomach was still visibly bloated and gurgling. I later ate more SAD foods throughout the next two weeks. I noticed less symptoms--my body no longer produced diarrhea or vomiting--but I got severe heartburn, which felt like someone was literally kicking me in the esophagus. I gained about 10 pounds in one week, which I assume to be mostly water-weight and colon backup. My hands are slightly painful and swollen in the morning. My skin is oilier and I have some minor breakouts. My scalp is also oilier and a little flakey. My workouts were more difficult and I had less energy. My bowels were immediately irritated. I had gas and a bit of constipation.

The other annoying thing I noticed is that I never felt satisfied after eating the foods I "craved." It was never enough!

The interesting thing about experiencing these physical and mental symptoms was that they were all familiar. I had experienced these symptoms before with regularity before, but never paid much attention. Some of the "milder"symptoms I attributed to age or the natural course of things. The more severe symptoms I chalked up to a bug, such as the "flu." The dissatisfaction and cravings I had attributed to my weak willpower or "stress." Somehow, adding back all these symptoms made me appreciate more clearly how I had not been experiencing them at all in the past 3 months of 80-10-10.

So, self-love, where are you? I feel like I was doing great and then I just fell into a pit of despair and self-loathing. Now, I gotta claw my way back outta here.

Today was Day 1

10 a.m. 1 cup of heirloom cherry tomatoes (a gift from a friend)
11 a.m. 3 large Bartlett pears
Noon Smoothie with 7 med. bananas, 2 cups frozen raspberries
3:30 p.m. (Having baaaaaad cravings!) a large quantity of lettuce and 2 cups cherry tomatoes
7 p.m. About 2 mangoes and 2 C. tomatoes blended into a soup

Total: About 1700 cal. (I can afford to be a little low after a week of eating 3000 cal. a day)

10 comments:

Michele in NZ said...

I hope you are feeling better really, really soon! :-)

Thank you for sharing you SAD story, it helps to know I am not crazy wanting SAD food. (Even though I am only raw 1 meal a day at the moment!)

Julie said...

Hi, Greenmama,

Don't worry about the self-love.

I love you, and so do many others you may have never even met. I am sending my love and respect to you right now. You are adorable in every way!

:)

What happened to you is OK. You are learning all the time. And now you KNOW what effect that stuff is having on everyone, whether they know it or not.

Yeah, it is super addictive, all right.

When I was trying to transition to an all-fruit diet I fell out of the fruit tree about a million times! But each time was more and more disappointing (not as fun as I thought it would be, not as great as I remembered) and as my body got cleaner and more correctly sensitive, the effects became more and more unpleasant. The last couple of times were a nightmare, like what you experienced. Now I know why babies cry and children throw temper tantrums! And so do you, I bet!

But the important thing is this: Have you been eating better this year than last year? Yes, you have! Amazingly so!

So good for you. . . you are working to improve yourself and all of us going through the same thing know that it is not so easy.

I have to say that eventually my own body guided me to freedom because it could no longer tolerate even little forays into "the other."

I've been where you are and I have a lot of respect and admiration for what you are doing. I think you're amazing!

No big deal. . . in a couple of days you will feel better, in a week you will feel a lot of relief, in 2 weeks you'll be totally back on track.

Think lots of juicy fruit like orange juice and watermelon for rehydrating and cleansing. Lots of liquid!

And know that there are other people like me out here in the world doing the same thing you are doing. We are all rooting for you!

It's crazy, isn't it, how hard this is?!

Love to you,
Julie

Greenmama said...

Oh my gosh, thanks so much, Julie!!! I needed that!

Hang in there, Michelle...

Marjorie

Raw Vegan Family said...

Marjorie, In order not to hijack your blog with a long comment, I left you a response here.
http://bananaislandgetaway.blogspot.com/2007/10/letter-to-marjorie-aka-greenmama.html

Julie, I loved your "fell out of the fruit tree" phrase. lol! So much more correct than "fell off the wagon," I think!

Much Love!
Connie

Sarah said...

I'm sorry you're feeling bad, Marjorie. :( Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I've had moments of curiousity about how my body might react if I went back to cooked. Your story helps me, even though I'm sorry you had to go through it.

But here you are, climbing back on the journey! That takes a lot of strength. Remember that Dr. D always says, it's not about speed, but direction. You have done amazingly well this year and I know that you will continue to grow in health! Rest lots and be kind to yourself.

keda said...

thank you so much... i think you may have just saved my week. i had just had two really really bad SAD eating days. its really interesting because it was just the two days i had decided to do a monofeast (like a mono food fast but fasting doesn't suit my fancy). For some reason I just wasn't strong enough. I want this to end now. I think that reading your story has helped by giving me strength.

Courtney said...

Marjorie

I am sorry you had to go through that! Day one is always followed by day 2, though...good luck!

Courtney

Raw Vegan Mama said...

Hang in there Marjorie!

Get back on that horse! Hehee!

Harmony said...

Oh, Marjorie, I'm so sorry you were feeling so bad! It is a great learning experience, though. I have done this so many times. It's no fun. The important thing is, you made it back to your healthy fresh foods and kept on going in the right direction! You're doing an awesome job. Keep on going!
(HUGS))

hanani joy said...

hello
i have just found your blog and have to say what an inspiration you are. I am looking forward to reading more.I really appreciate your honesty. i have only just started going raw it is 7 weeks and I have lost 28 pounds. it is the most amazing thing i have ever done for myself. The last few days i have gone back to old eating habits and yet i know deep within me that i will go back to raw again that the slips are all part of the learning process of reconnecting with and understanding my body. wishing you love on your journey. thank you for being ~*~

my blogspace is http://hannahsrawodyssey.blogspot.com/
if you like or not (hope you don't mind me putting it here)