Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Gearing up for a new gig

So life is getting bit hectic here as Jason and I both start work Friday and the kids begin daycare and school (next week). I have been keeping it positive. I have especially been trying to focus on the positive in my blog, which at times feels a little phoney. Really, people, in the interest of full disclosure, I go back and forth between fear and faith, crisis and confidence, sometimes on an hourly basis.

Really, what it boils down to is this. I want to be homeschooling my raw vegan kids and living in paradise (fruit trees please) with my healthy raw vegan husband with our meaningful work that pays us a comfortable income. Instead, I am sending my omnivore children off to heartless institutions so that I can go work a job I'm not that happy about. My husband tastes like a garlicky hamburger sometimes when I kiss him. And then other times, like now, he runs off and leaves me alone to slave away while he goes to, of all things, a role-playing game convention (which, by the way costs MONEY, which we don't have enough of). Wah, wah. Who's a whiny baby?

Really, it's not so bad. I had a lovely day with the kids. I have been practicing my communication skills and managed to survive more than one tantrum without either losing my temper OR letting go of my limits. The kids and I had a fun trip to the library AND together as a family, we got the house reasonably clean. I am glad my husband is going to have fun with his friend doing something he enjoys. He works hard to earn our bread (make that fruit) and we have a nice house, food to eat, clothing on our backs, etc. and so on... A little fun and games didn't hurt anyone.

So, the positivity isn't phoney. I really am blessed and grateful for my life.

Today's Food (*local food)

9:30 a.m. 12 cups watermelon*

12 p.m. 8 Medjool dates (not so hot, dried out and grainy)

2:30 p.m. 6 more dates

6 p.m. 1/2 Casaba melon, salad with organic red and green romaine, heirloom tomatoes*, organic celery, and about 1/4 organic avocado

1900 cal., C-P-F 87-6-7


Walked about 1 mile with the kids


Em said...

..and who isn't to say in a year or 2 you won't be be home-schooling the kids? Hubby won't be raw vegan (or at least vegan)?

Little by little - things change. Go with the flow.

love coing your way

lisa said...

this is but one moment in the entire scope of time...possibilities ARE limitless...allow time for change.

(i'm telling myself this as much as you today. i too am frustrated with how very little my life *looks* like i want it to! i am so pleased to be able to see you going through all of this in-depth change and growth, dear marjie. you're like a flower unfurling. things don't always feels just right...but they are! have faith!! life is a process, not a destination. you are amazing. don't ever lose sight of that!)

much, much love...

Greenmama said...

Thanks so much, everyone!


Anonymous said...


I am so sorry to hear that you don't want to take the job! I thought that you were excited about it...I guess not, huh? Well, isn't it only for half the year? That is good, at least (If I am correct about that). Sometimes stuff just sucks and you wanna vent! I am glad you did--it usually helps.

Hang in there!

~Anastazia~ said...

Nice to catch up with you, just read a bunch of your posts, & wow, you're having quite the summer!
I'm encouraged by your honesty, & inspired by your perseverance & willingness to choose to look at things from a kind, loving perspective, even when it's hard... see your thankfulness for your sweet hubby, & willingness to turn your focus to consideration of his needs is wonderful to behold!

Anonymous said...

"So, the positivity isn't phoney. I really am blessed and grateful for my life."


Thanks for being so honest in your sharing. You really are an inspiration to all of us, and it is nice to know you are not all sunshine-y all the time because those silver lining in every cloud people are just so damned annoying! LoL!

Big Hugs!

Greenmama said...

It's so nice to hear from you all. Your support means a lot.

:), Marjore