Isn't Nutridiary cool?

(In case you're wondering, the first pic shows my calorie distribution in upright bars. The blue is for carbs. It also tells my weight and body fat percentage when I started Nutridiary in August and as of today. Get out your magnifying glasses. LOL! The second chart shows calories burned vs. calories consumed. The bottom line is calories consumed. As you can see, I haven't been eating enough, but am getting closer now.)

Nutridiary is so fun to play with. I love charts and graphs and detailed information. But, really, how much time does it take out of my day to chart every bit of food I consume and how much I exercise and how big my waist is. And then to scrutinize these fun graphs... Sheesh! Just go eat some watermelon and be done with it.

Knowing how many calories a computer system estimates I should eat is helpful, to a point. But really, at some point, I have to move past that and be able to tell my actual body's signals for hunger and thirst. And I have to build a life that allows me to eat what I need, when I need it, which is not currently the case. (This need is also extended to all of the rest of my being's needs--rest, sunshine, exercise, spiritual fulfillment, emotional ease, etc.)

So, I have been thinking about this a lot. How to manifest my REAL life, the one I'm meant to be living.

A further update. The difference in my mood and cravings and my ability to work out is unbelievable after just a few days of getting my calories up. I am still working at it.

Also, I am trying to work especially with my oldest son, who is undereating as well. We had some good talks and some good smoothies this weekend.

Transitioning from weight loss to health maintenance

I had a really helpful conversation with my Path of Health mentor Seena last night. Together, we talked through some of my more recent challenges.

Here's the basics... I'm not eating anywhere near enough to fuel my activities. I am losing weight, but not dropping body fat and building muscles. I am having cravings for SAD foods because I am hungry.

I thought I was having trouble recognizing the signs of "true hunger," but one reason for that might be that I'M HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. Duh. Seena also thought that I might be confusing hunger with thirst, since I am drinking way more water than a non salt-eating raw fooder would normally need.

So, using Nutridiary, I can see how many calories I actually need to eat on a day-to-day basis, and I'm actually going to do it.

Once I have the money to buy enough food. LOL!

Seena encouraged me to try using smoothies to get over my banana aversion. She also suggested that I eat before work, even though it is earlier than I'd really like to, because otherwise, I don't get a chance to eat two solid meals during the daytime. She encouraged me to research the most calorie-dense sweet fruits (bananas and dates, in case you're wondering) and eat 'em up! And, she said once I start fueling my body properly, I can exercise more vigorously and see the body fat drop and the muscle-building I'd like. So... feels exciting to have some ideas how to get going. Thanks again, Seena.

Today's Food

7 a.m. 10 cups watermelon (Got a stomacheache. Not sure if it was the watermelon, which was just a tiny bit under-ripe, or if it was the speed I ate, or eating so early. I felt really bad for 20 minutes)

11:45 a.m. 7 medium and 3 small bananas

4:45 p.m. Leftover 2 cups watermelon from breakfast

6 p.m. Salad with red leaf lettuce, okra, zucchini, heirloom tomato, and yellow pepper

7 p.m. A large mango

Cal. 2048, C-F-P 89-4-7

Only 60 calories short! Not bad for day one.

Where've you been, Greenmama?

I am so happy to have a long weekend to relax and rejuvenate! I skipped the Farmer's Market today as my partner was out of town (that makes 4 out of the last 5!) and I just felt I needed the break.

My job is going better than I feared. I really enjoy the children and being surrounded by books. The rest of it sucks, but the first two things make it doable. My kids are enjoying school, although we've already had some difficulties there. They are a bit overtaxed by the long intense days and tend to be tired and irritable at certain times of the day (usually when we have to get ready to leave and time is of the essence). So, we're surviving.

We are again completely out of cash. We don't have enough money to buy food or gas to get us to work every day next week. Of course, we'll manage somehow. We always do. Next week will be my first full paycheck and it will also have some extra hours for the Book Fair, so that will be fine.

I am doing some Dynamic Self-Discovery one-on-one sessions with Elchanan and our first session focused on my ability to create resources. "I am ready, willing, and able to have and to spend whatever money my heart desires--now." I still feel like that is such a wonderful thing to say and I can't wait until it is true. I am ready, willing, and able... o.k., not "able" at this point because there is no cash. LOL! Another gem, "When you have more, you have more to give." That feels really wonderful. There are so many people and causes I would love to give more to. So, in order to give, I must be able to receive. I have to receive the abundance that is out there for me before I can share it. (Where is it, though?)

On the raw food front. I am still eating low fat raw vegan. I have been eating mostly local watermelon, with a few bananas, and tomatoes, okra, cucumbers, and squash from the garden. I have been a little lax on my greens, every third day or so. Yesterday I had a lot of green leaf and romaine. My community garden box has a lot of salad greens that are about 1 1/2 inches high, so I'm looking forward to eating those soon.

On the exercise front, I have been consistently getting 15-30 minutes of walk/jog in on my lunch break at work. It's nice to get the sunshine and the exercise helps me feel better. I need more exercise and want to build more muscle and core strength. But I feel so exhausted by the end of the day that I am just collapsing. About the most I can get myself to do in the evening is read a little bit of the new Harry Potter. Even if I do have any spare energy, I feel like I need to do things like dishes and laundry and packing lunches for the next day.

At the suggestion of the Path of Health group, I set up a free account at Nutridiary. I have always used SparkPeople and they have nice features, but Nutridiary is a lot more helpful because they add up the calories you burned and subtract the calories you ate and give you a total--how many calories are you over or under-eating. Wow, I am consistently undereating by quite a bit. I was ingrained in the dieter's myth that as long as I was eating more than 1200 calories, I would be fine. But my activity level burns significantly more than that. That could be why I have lost 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks and why I am experiencing a lot of food "cravings." The cravings are more like obsessive thoughts, rather than actually WANTING to eat foods. I can go into the cafeteria and buy the foods like French fries or nachos. I don't do it. I could. I don't even feel like I am stopping myself from doing it.

But yet, I find myself thinking about these foods and even remembering what they taste like. Sigh. Part of me wonders about the theory I've heard about cravings being triggered when you burn fat, because the fat was created by those foods and particles of them are released into your bloodstream. I used to think it was absurd, but now I wonder.

Anyway, I usually feel better if I just EAT. But I sometimes have to delay because of my schedule. And, we just don't have much food. Bananas are the solution, but I procrastinate eating them. I don't really like bananas much. I don't hate them. I just feel blah about bananas.

So, that's me, right now. Here I am. Greenmama, out.

Work in Progress

Health Update

On April 27th, 2007, I went raw and haven't looked back. My journey has taken me places I never imagined. I am learning to experience my emotions without food. I am following my dreams, sometimes to challenging places. I am recycling weight and transforming my body.

April 28th, 2007 135.4 lbs., 34% body fat
July 12th, 2007 116.8 lbs., 24.4% body fat

Other health changes

My constipation and irritable bowel issues are gone. I notice digestive discomfort in response to eating improper food combinations or eating dehydrated foods, onions, or herbs. Before, these symptoms were so common for me that I ignored them.

I am not bloated or achey in the mornings any more. My weight doesn't fluctuate 5 or 6 pounds from morning to night. Both of these are related to the elimination of salt from my diet.

I have more energy and stamina when I am exercising. I don't feel out of breath or lethargic.

I tan more easily, although I still have to be very careful, especially with areas of my body that haven't seen much sun in my life.

My skin is clearer and my scalp is less flakey. However, if I eat a lot of fat, such as avocados, for a few days in a row, I notice minor breakouts or dandruff. I no longer use soap or shampoo or personal products of any kind. I don't stink, unless I eat onions.

I no longer use toothpaste and my teeth remain their typical clean selves (brushing with water 2 times per day). However, I still wake up with a dry mouth and whitish foul-tasting coated tongue. I hope to eventually lose that symptom along the way.

My sense of smell is quite sharp. This is sometimes an inconvenience.

My periods have spaced out from approximately 30 days apart to 40. They are very light and short.

Overall, I feel extremely proud and happy about how far I've come. But I'm a work in progress for sure!

Symptoms Update

Thought I'd post a before picture. I weighed at least 171 pounds in this picture, not counting the baby. 171 pounds was probably my morning dehydrated weight (since I ate so much salt) and my real weight was probably more like 175.

I am enjoying my new found health and lightness lately. Today, I learned how to use a post pounder and enjoyed the power of raising a big metal object high above my head and then pulling it down with a satisfying clang to drive a huge metal post into the ground. Could I have done that in the shape I was in when the above picture was taken? NO.

I find it easy and effortless to break into a run if I want to. I can jump in and out of a dumpster with ease. I can carry a big watermelon in each arm and climb the stairs into my home.

I have enjoyed almost 100% relief from my bowel symptoms. However, I now am quite tuned in to how even slight indiscretions can lead to discomfort. Anything salty, dehydrated, or overly fatty can irritate my system. This is not new, but now I notice it, where before, I felt bad all the time and so I didn't really think about what was causing it.

Yesterday, I made the mistake of eating a cup or two of collard green thinnings, about an inch in size. I figured they were young greens and should be o.k. No. Today, I have had gas that smells like fermented collard greens.

I am still coughing up a significant amount of thick yellowish mucous from my chest. However, I don't feel any irritation there--it seems to be leftover stuff to be expectorated and I don't feel like more is being produced. We'll see.

I am still not resting enough. I am also experiencing some self-induced stress, which I hope to deal with positively in the next few days.

Although I am not getting proper rest, I feel more energetic than I ever used to. I no longer wake feeling horrible and achey and longing to sleep indefinitely. I am less crabby in general in the morning. I also do not experience the intense urge to take a nap midafternoon like I usually did before.

So, here's to the amazing changes raw has brought me thus far!

Today's Food:

9 a.m. Smoothie w/ 3 large bananas, 2 C. blueberries, and 2 C. Four Seasons lettuce

12:30 p.m. 3 C. sweet cherries

4 p.m. 10 C. watermelon

6:30 Salad with iceberg and Four Seasons lettuce and red and yellow pepper w/ a soup/dressing made from Roma tomatoes, cucumber, red pepper, iceberg lettuce, lime juice, fresh oregano and some cumin

About 1380 calories

Happy Birthday to Me!

Picture from http://paperstreetcycling.com/sweetpea/

Today, I turn 31. And I feel at least a year younger than I did on my last birthday. I have so much to be thankful for.

Tonight is a big volunteer event at the garden and almost 40 people are coming to work. Isn't that fantastic?!?

Also, my scale said the magic number that I was aiming for by my birthday. 120 pounds this morning.

Reflecting on my Raw Adventure

sample photo from Microsoft

Looking back, I realized that it has been officially 18 days into my raw adventure, with no non-raw food cheats. I am amazed at how easy it was to go raw, but also at how difficult it was to not abuse my body with food (albeit raw food). I had to give away trigger foods, like cashews. I learned a lot about why grains, high fat foods, and dehydrated foods can be harmful, and I felt the effects of various foods on my own body.

And I learned that if I want to be able to eat this way, some of my food is going to have to come from a dumpster. Luckily, I love the thrill of the hunt! (Did I mention that last week we scored 21 cantaloupes?!?)

How has 18 days of raw food affected me?

• I have lost 6 pounds, which I attribute to water weight from a decline in salt consumption, since my body fat percentage is still about the same.

• In the beginning, I did experience some detox symptoms, such as mild headaches, acidic nasal drainage, sore throat, etc. But those passed fairly quickly.

• My bowel symptoms such as bloating, gas, and constipation go away, as long as I don't eat lots of nuts, dried fruit or dehydrated foods. When I eat those things, however, I am very uncomfortable.

• I don't crave cooked food, salt, or sugar. However, I don't like watching food commercials on t.v., because I have a combination of revulsion and attraction, almost like the feeling you get when you pass a fatal car accident on the road.
  
• My normally sharp sense of smell is even sharper. My friend came over with gum in her mouth and the smell almost bowled me over. Very chemically!

• My skin is clearer and seems to have a glow about it.

• I am anxious about other's reaction to my diet. I feel fearful about people's views about my parenting skills. I am also anxious about being able to afford good quality fruit.
  

• I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster, going from ecstasy and joyfulness to frustration and depression.

Thanks to all of my supporters who have helped me on my journey!

Marjorie

Plenty of sunshine headed our way... and also a thunderstorm

I woke up feeling fantastic, despite the sleep deprivation. I also saw a loss on the scale, which was a welcome sight.

I am so glad I resisted the urge to eat late at night, since I know I wake up bloated and crabby when I do.

I had a late breakfast of 3 Gala apples--so crisp and delicious. An hour later I snacked on a banana. Unfortunately, I really don't like bananas all that much, except in smoothies, which I try to limit. How can a wannabe rawist survive without bananas?!?

An update on our cat. He will eat roast pork, although in small quantities. I am still feeling guilty and hope to get him better food soon. I plan to do some research on feeding cats raw. My first thought is perhaps some raw eggs?

Today a friend came over and I sold her $30 worth of pasta, flours and baking products. I also gave her a bunch of other foods like pickled jalapenos and curry paste. Woohoo! Feels great to be clearing out.

Because of her visit, I got distracted and didn't make my lunch until I was shaky and feeling irritable and unable to concentrate. I felt much better once I started to eat. I had 6 cups of romaine, half of a cucumber (peeled), half of a red pepper (chopped), 2 stalks of celery (chopped), a small carrot (grated), and a large portion of that yummy creamy dressing I made yesterday. My toddler snuck up and ate some of my plate, but luckily I got most of it. After eating, I felt much better!

While my friend was there, I got my co-op order together. She's thinking of joining and we're putting in a joint order. We are splitting some amaranth and wheatberries that I plan to sprout. I also splurged on 5 lbs. of dates. I have really been wanting some! I know 5 lbs. will last about 5 minutes in this house, but what can I do.

I really wanted to hang out my laundry and get some planting done, but a sudden thunderstorm moved in right after my friend left.

Instead the laundry went in the dryer and I made salads with iceberg lettuce and peppers and cut up melons for my husband and the kids, who don't care a thing about food combining. I also made them some fruit smoothies.

Here's what I ate for dinner. Four cups of iceberg. A dressing made with about 2/3 C. thawed blueberries, 1/2 C. thawed papaya, 1 banana, some juice from a thawed package of frozen fruit salad, and 1 large leaf of kale (destemmed) blended in the Vitamix. A couple of sips of my kids tropical fruit smoothie.

We were treated after dinner with the sight of a rainbow!

What a nice way to end the day.

A success story. Or is it?

Chapter 8: What's wrong with this picture?

My husband and I have lost a total of 130 pounds. We're exercising regularly, eating fruit and veggies, reversing chronic health conditions. A success story. Someone should buy our before and after photos and use them to sell Eat to Live, right?

Um, if this is a success story, then how come I still feel like crap.

Seriously, we still struggle with compliance. My husband is more philosophical, and therefore more moderate about it. I feel frustrated by going constantly off and on. I go off sugar, then a holiday binge would send me back to eating it daily again. I painfully, slowly got off the salt for over a month (and felt so much better--morning stiffness and achy-ness gone) only to go right back to square one after eating salty food at a social ocassion.

One month, I ate 5 pounds of raw cashews. Cashews by the handfuls day after day.

After having a miscarriage in November, 2006, I binged on SAD foods for 2-3 months... Easy to do since it was Christmas and everyone was giving out cookies. I gained back 13 pounds, while continuing to exercise 7 hours a week. Luckily, I've lost those pounds again. Yet here I remain, at the same weight I was a year ago, still 25 pounds from my goal.

I never quite felt right when following the diet 100% either. I found that I would get constipation with too many cooked greens. (Or maybe it was the nuts?)

I joined SparkPeople.com and began obsessively counting my calories and exercise minutes. Obsessively counting sometimes led to an almost ritualistic overeating pattern.

I would fast from the computer for weeks to break the cycle, only to begin it again.

I read other similar books such as the McDougall Plan for Maximum Weightloss and all of Dr. Neal Barnard's books. I began baking whole grain bread "for the kids" but eating much of it.

I consider raw-ism several times, but was turned off by the multiplicity of conflicting voices shouting at one another. Superfoods. NO, Natural Hygiene. Raw chocolate is good for you. Raw chocolate will kill you. B-12 deficiency will kill you. Green Smoothies. Juice. Don't juice. Sprouts. Sprouts will kill you! Ack!

Stress is killing me, is the problem.

And everyone has something to sell me, which makes them all a bit suspect in my mind.