Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Joyful!


I have been enjoying all the things that I have begun creating in my life... a closer relationship with my husband and children. Friendships. Improved health and fitness.

I am spending much time working through and healing past trauma. I am spending much time dreaming and planning the beautiful, bountiful garden that I will be growing this year.

I grow happier and happier! I am so practiced giving words to painful emotions that at times, I feel like I have nothing to blog about when I am happy. But as I grow, I am sure I will find a way to express myself more clearly.

So I will spend some time telling you about the mundane in my life...

My sweet little Qian hangs out with me every day, like a little shadow watching me as I go about my housework. He is a curious little being, with a strong sense of himself. He likes to climb, but this week, he has finally figured out how to go down the stairs as well as up. If I open the dishwasher when he is nearby, he rushes over and grabs the biggest knife (why not the wooden spoons?). Having older children and a baby can sometimes be a challenge. He wants all of their toys. I keep finding the girls' beads in his poop. :( But he is never shy about getting into their games. The other day they were wrestling on a mat on the floor, and he dived right in the middle, laughing.

I have been spending some time each week with my sister-in-law. She is a cool chick. I've meant to befriend her for many years but never found the time or courage. Now, we get together once a week. Our goal is to do some kind of craft project, but so far, we just hang out and talk. They have a lovely brown lab mix, a sweet, somewhat hyper young dog named Abbie. She puts her nose right up to Qian's nose, but he does not get scared or back down. He looks right back at her with the same curiousity that she has for him.

My husband is still doing raw... mostly citrus juice with a salad in the evening. He has occasionally cheated, but seems to be in a really good place about the whole process right now.

I am on the cusp of finally finishing this years-long transition, I believe. I finally realized it is not about "discipline" or force in any form. It is about joyful embrace! I need to ALLOW happiness. It is my birthright, no matter what I was taught as a child. I can let old beliefs that no longer serve me fall away, and embrace my full power.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's awesome, Marjorie--I can feel your joy! I'm glad we are able to share this journey. You inspire me!

Anonymous said...

That comment was from me--Laurie! :-)

Azura Skye said...

Feeling joy - I hear ya. Sometimes I think I need to be SERIOUS - which is synonymus with MISERABLE, I realized today I can be HAPPY and SERIOUS. Just haven't got round to it yet :))

Kim said...

Hoorah! I love mundane details! And to be enjoying your life and to know that you are enjoying it--what could be better? Qian sparkles and exudes joy right through that photo and into my heart, as do you. ♥

Greenmama said...

Thank you Laurie and Kim. You are awesome.

Azura,that is an awesome insight about being serious and happy at the same time! Here's to getting serious about being happy.

:), Marjorie

Anonymous said...
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Connie said...

So glad you are feeling happy Marjorie. I believe that is 90% of the battle. :)

Love & Sunshine!
Connie

I thought I had already commented on this but guess not.