Friday, December 7, 2007

Should it be this hard?

I am home sick today, sick because I have not been taking care of my health. I am chronically stressed out, eating 80-10-10 on and off (and when I'm off, it's really off... like eating 4000 calories of potato chips, Taco Bell and candy bars off.) The weather is cold and snowy, so I haven't been forcing myself to go outside and walk. Blah.

After sleeping all morning, I am surfing the 'Net for inspiration. I stumbled across the Ultimate List of Raw Food Blogs and began visiting those I wasn't familiar with. What hit me at first was that it is shocking how many people are struggling the exact same way I am. On and off raw and/or low-fat, and almost 100% of it is emotional.

How did we, as humanity, end up so unhappy?

Which brings me to my 3 year-old. Yesterday, my husband and I were having a very deep philosophical conversation about the nature of life. When I say deep... let's just say that philosophers such as Rousseau and Hobbes were mentioned, as well as Eastern philosophies/ religions such as Taoism and Buddhism. All of a sudden, in response to something one of us said, our 3 year-old interrupted emphatically,

"Life is NOT rotten."

We had no idea she was listening, let alone able to follow the conversation... We swiveled our heads around in amazement and she gave us the sweetest smile and said,

"Life is pretty."

Well, there you have it... We all just have to go back to our 3 year-old selves somehow.


Anonymous said...

Aren't children amazing?! They really are always listening and learning, and yours sound very adorable and inspiring! Listen up!

Marjorie, I am so sorry you are struggling, but it does help sometimes just to know that you are not alone, doesn't it? I am always here if you want to chat!

Hang in there,

Fruity Jules said...

Hi, Marjorie. . .

I love you!

I love your posts!

And I feel your pain, sister. Wow. I can remember so clearly the last few times I had forays into "the other." It was nightmare material.

It took me a whole bunch of times getting super sick on the junk to really, really get it that it is all poison. I even threw up once for the first time in 20 years.

We have been trained like seals from birth to think that junk food is fun/comforting/exciting and tastes good. And this is reinforced all day every day for x number of years.

The last time I fell out of the fruit tree it was to eat some steamed vegetables with a vegan sauce, plus some low-fat popcorn. Most people would consider that the healthiest thing they ate all year. But I'd been eating only fruit for weeks and there was plenty of salt in that junk and the salt made me feel like I was possessed by demons! Ha. . . no kidding. I thought my head was going to spin around. I seriously felt like I'd been poisoned, which I was.

Anyway, it took lots of experiences like that to become correctly afraid of salt and spices and chemicals. Now I know for sure what a poison they really are.

And they are harming EVERYONE.

You are learning now about what a poison all that stuff really is. Yeah, it takes some time to undo all the previous training.

I really wish it didn't!


Love to you,

Laura said...

Hi, just found your blog and could have written the first part of this post myself. I totally fell off the wagon the other day... way off. And as a result I have a cold.. i haven't had a cold all season... GRR! Back on the wagon now.. good luck.

Sarah said...

Children make life seem so simple...and I know that it should be.

There are days that this lifestyle seems to come with ease and grace, days that I struggle to keep going, and days that I give in to the call of SAD. I'm just hoping that the easy days soon overtake the struggling ones. I do find that it's all emotional.

I feel comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one struggling, yet sad that others are going through the same things as well because I know it isn't easy. We'll all get through this in time.


Sarah said...

That is the cutest thing ever! Get her to say it again and take a video of it! LOL

Greenmama said...

Thanks so much for visiting and for your wonderful words of kindness. It means a great deal to "talk" and have someone "hear" me. LOL!


Anonymous said...

Marjorie, I loved this story. I have thought often the three year olds have it right and should be our teachers and inspiration. "Pretty," is one of Christopher's favorite words right now. He is constantly telling me how pretty the most mundane things are. I am trying to see the beauty he and your baby are seeing. It is there, we just need to allow ourselves to see it. :)

Did you see him on his John Deere, getting the yard ready for you guys and your yurt or tent? I posted a picture on Naked Food Cafe. It is in the high 70s this week, so we could all easily live outdoors!

Much Love!

Tommie said...

I feel left out, not having had all these problems with raw but I'm fortunate, I know. And life IS pretty! Let's all remember that.

Come see us on the forum, Mama! We miss you!

rick said...

Wow, that first paragraph describes what I did to a degree to myself. For a number of months, after being 100% for about 5 years, I ate like that which is all it took. I paid for it so dearly and it has changed my life. I am still fighting back to this day and feel for you and some of your trials. Be careful with the back and forth. I wouldn't wish the sufferings on anyone that can sneak up on you. :O)

Maria said...

I just found your blog and really like it. We have a lot in common and I want to encourage you to continue on your journey with homeschooling.

Greenmama said...

I love to hear from everyone!

Thanks so much.

Welcome to Laur, Maria and Rick.

For those of you following the homeschooling news, my children's last week of school is next week!

We're excited


April said...

So, getting back to our three year old selves, eh? Maybe through yoga and cleansing? Anyways, this is a beautiful post.

Anonymous said...

My current dietary plan is calorie restriction with optimal nutrition that is around 70% raw. I think that 100% raw is sustainable but I've noticed quite a few people on the internet and one in my life that aspired to eat 80-10-10 and ended up going on and off and when off eating lots of junk food. Maybe when you are off the 80-10-10 it would be better to "cheat" on healthier raw foods like raw nuts. I think 80-10-10 by being so low fat and low protein is hard to sustain. Chimps are very similar to us genetically and they eat lots of greens and nuts and seeds (not to mention pith and other things we wouldn't want to eat). Just a thought.